Here's what I would do to troubleshoot
1) Ensure you've made the appropriate firewall exceptions for TCP port 3101 that allow for traffic from your BESX server to go to RIM's servers and make sure your NAT rules are correct
2) Double check your SPAM filter to make sure emails from blackberry.net aren't being blocked. If they are then make sure you whitelist *blackberry.net
3) Try specifying the activation password instead of creating an activation e-mail. I've heard a few people that have issues with that functionality.